I have seen weddings done 34,846,245,135 different ways. Okay not really. But you can literally do anything YOU want on YOUR wedding day! Crazy huh? We often get stuck with preconceived notions of what a wedding day is supposed to look like. You need X number of bridesmaids, red velvet cake for dessert, bouquet and garter toss etc. The list goes on. Here are a few ways to "DO YOU" on your wedding day:
1) Bridal Party Not many couples decide to forgo a bridal party. But the times I have seen it done, it is brilliant! Just think about it....
Less drama + less stress + less money put out by friends = WAY better PARTY/MEMORIES
I never even considered NOT having a bridal party. Mostly because I had never seen it done before. The worst part about it was that I managed to lose two good friends through my wedding. One was even my Maid of Honor. Sucks huh. It basically came down to money. I'm not an extreme bride who (in my opinion) asked for anything crazy from my girls. But inevitably, money caused a lot of problems. Everyone's in a different place in their lives. Some are in school, some with great jobs. Everyone places a different priority with where they want to spend their money. And often, your wedding is not the first on the list.
You can still take pictures with your closest friends and even ask a special friend to make a speech for you at the reception. But can you imagine dressing your best friends exactly the same and wanting them all to love their outfit equally. Not gonna happen. It doesn't matter if your friends stand at the alter with you or if they're in the 2nd row ready to congratulate you.
Picking your bridesmaids is like picking your MySpace Top 8. It forces you to rank your friends and tell the world how cool you are because of the people next to you. The wedding day should be about you and your fiance.....the end.
2) Stop worrying about what people will think. Every bride wants their guests to have the BEST TIME EVER on their wedding day. Your guests will come, drink, dance and celebrate you. But that probably won't make it the best night of their life, right? You're the one who has to live with the memories and photos on your walls, while your guests will move on to the next big thing.
Typically it's the ladies you know that will give their two cents about your wedding plans, often without you even asking for it. Moms, grandmas, aunts and friends. My mom comes from a traditional time of wedding planning so we didn't always see eye to eye on what a wedding should have. Back in 2012, it seemed like cupcakes were all the rage. I suggested maybe cupcakes instead of a REAL cake for my husband and I and my mom was shocked..... "Not having a cake to cut at the wedding?! Are you crazy?!" Yes mom, yes. I must be crazy.
Even male guests can influence your plan for the day. I wanted to seem like the "cool" bride. I wanted to make the night fun for the guys by having outdoor games, an open bar and a late night snack. Of course I enjoyed having these too but I felt an extra sense of trying to make the day fun for the fellas.
Stop being a people pleaser and make sure you and your spouse get exactly what YOU want. Your wallet will thank you.
3) Pinterest will make you go nuts. I love me some Pinterest..... my boards say I do. Pinterest came out about a year before I got married. I was thankful at the time, but it also gave me an influx of ideas. Things I never knew about, that suddenly I had to have. Being a visual person, I began to imagine my ceremony and reception a specific way. I imagined what my photos would look like, the details on the tables and how my bridal party would look. There were certain things I thought I had to have. But as I was running to the photo booth to take a picture with my husband, I could not have cared less.
4) If you're lucky, half your guests will have cake. This one is simple. By the time you cut your cake, half your guests will likely be drinking and dancing. They won't pull themselves away for a slice of the delectable white cake with organic raspberries you picked out months ago. Save yourself some money and get a cake that will do the job. You don't have to feed everyone.
5) Favors are dumb. What are we at a birthday party? You've already provided an amazing day for your friends and family. By the end of the night, people will have left their tables and probably don't care too much about saving the shot glass with your name on it. Half your guests will take them (if you're lucky). The rest will end up in a box in your closet/garage for years. If you still want to give a favor, try to be practical and make it something worth while. A sweet treat is a good option or even some kind of plant that will make it through the next few weeks hopefully.
What would people have done without their chocolate truffles from Costco + custom box + thank you sticker?! I can't imagine :P 6) Personalized napkins belong in the 90's. I thought they were a cute idea and mostly wanted them for a photo. If you find a good deal, go for it. I don't think I even saw one on a table the entire night.
I probably sound a little bitter about some of my wedding decisions but that's only because hindsight is 20/20. I loved every bit of my wedding day and don't have any regrets. Ultimately, your wedding is about you and your spouse-to-be. Don't forget that.